Surrounded by Strangers

People required Hotmail id to comment here n that was creating problems for my friends...
So I have started writing @ blogspot

priyank-shah.blogspot.com

However, I'll continue adding entries at both the blogs for sometime n then mayb shift to blogspot...

hope to see you people clicking there too...

Stay Alive n Clicking.. :)

I know I have been pretty irregular in updating my blog. Forgive me for it but its a bit hectic with my post graduation and all.
I'm back in Mumbai for 2 and a 1/2 months for my summer placements and will go back to Ahmedabad in last week of June. I was at my home cleaning up my shelfs and I got my hands on a poem which I had written a year back but had misplaced it. I'm just posting it here..



I'm so caged in this unbarred world,
There's no sound, not even a word,
No bars, No walls & still I'm locked,
The words are quiet, the thoughts are blocked,
There is no light, not even a spark,
I'm totally lost in this world so dark,
There;s dark within, there's dark without,
No one to hear even if I shout,
I shout, I yell, I hurt, I bruise,
I try to overcome but I just lose,
There's so much of noise within this quiet,
Everything's black within this white,
I cannot survive this deafening silence,
I cannot overcome this invisible fence,
Why only me? Why me out of all?
As I begin to walk, why do I fall?
Protect me, help me, find me, save me,
Don't let this darkness come & enslave me,
I have gone numb, I feel no pain,
Why do they hurt me, what will they gain?
Is this dark my blindness or just a sleep,
It's hurt me and bruised me, really really deep,
I'll give all my knowledge, my riches, my might,
Just a spark of light, Just a spark of light...

- Priyank Shah

I hope to be much more regular on this blog...

Your lips, your eyes, your soul
Are like a work of art,
The most creative thing of all
Is your beautiful heart.

If you were a painting,
No colours could express
The beauty deep inside you,
A rainbow, nothing less.

If you were a sculpture
The clay could hardly make
Your figure of an angel
Without one mistake.

If you were a euphony
No choir could really sing
All the beautiful music
Your eyes could possibly bring.

So here I am, an artist,
With inspiration beyond belief
But to capture such rare beauty,
I'd have to be a thief............

Hey friends, you must be wondering where I have disappeared suddenly.... Well, I got through Institute of management, Nirma University for MBA so shifted to Ahmedabad foer 2 years. Hostel life, hectic schedule, busy days, many friends, missing family, good days, bad days, happy hours, sad hours and a lot more....

Its been 10 days here and I am very excited and happy about the coming future... But it was not the same before.... a week before I was supposed to leave for ahmedabad, I was very "Confused" and I wrote things out of emotions... Here r some extracts from it....

There are so many questions, unanswered. I am trying to find answers to my very existence. I fought with my family members today. It was all against me alone. I don’t know if it was their fault or mine. The only point is that everybody is expecting a lot from me, everyone wants to spend time with me before I leave, and everyone wants to advice me, but what about me. When will they understand my perspective?

I am not complaining, I have one of the most loving parents and a great sister, I know they desire my well-being when they say anything to me. But, why can’t they see things the way I see. I was taught that it’s good to have friends, and now suddenly, the rules have changed.

Everyone thinks about themselves, and that’s not wrong. People should be concerned about their own self. But, why can’t they once put themselves in my shoes. I am going to a new place, where I will have no old friends, no family, no one of acquaintance; it is not easy for me. People keep on saying that they want to spend time with me before I leave, but they don’t realize that while doing so, they are constantly reminding me of my departure, departure from various relations which I have nurtured so far. People say that relations stay as they are, you can always get back to old friends, but I believe that if people who were friends, just friends, become OLD friends, then the whole relation becomes too formal.

 I know that I will achieve success at Nirma, but at what cost? Why is it that I am so irritated all the time nowadays. Why is it that my parents never see things from my perspective? There are times when they agree to things because I am adamant on my decision, but they do it out of compulsion, not out of understanding. There was no reason why they would get angry on me or scold me today. Atleast I did not find any reason. In the end, dad gets emotional and mom sheds tear, that’s the call of their victory. I cannot argue any further. I am not angry with them, I am angry with myself. I am frustrated and irritated from inside. I just want to leave to Ahmedabad now, not because I am angry with my parents or because I don’t want to be here, but because I cannot handle this “you are here for just one week” any more.

 Lets hope tomorrow’s sun brings me a bit more happiness, atleast a smile on my face. Good night.

 

Well, I was very different that day, and now, things are a lot clearer... Lets hope future has even better things for me...

A professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see & asked the students,' How much do you think this glass weighs?' '50gms!'.... '100gms!'... '125gms'...the students answered.

'I really don't know unless I weigh it, 'said the professor,' but my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes? ''Nothing' the students said.

'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.

'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students. 'You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?' 'Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!' ventured another student & all the students laughed. 'Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?' Asked the professor.
'No'
'Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?' The students were puzzled.

'What should I do to remedy this'? Asked the professor again.

'Put the glass down!' said one of the students. Exactly!' said the professor.' Life's problems are something like this. Hold it for a few
minutes in your head & they seem OK. Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache. Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything. but It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to 'put them down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh & strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!"

No one is beat till he quits,
No one is through till he stops,
No matter how hard Failure hits,
No matter how often he drops,
A fellow's not down till he lies
In the dust and refuses to rise.
Fate can slam him and bang him around,
And batter his frame till he's sore,
But she never can say that he's downed
While he bobs up serenely for more.
A fellow's not dead till he dies,
Nor beat till no longer he tries.
~Edgar Guest

My exams are on so I am not posting anything new, just posting a poem of mine which I had posted long time back....I want comments from people who have not commented on this one...


Free...At Last

My life was nothing,
But sheer enslavement,
Even a free breath,
Would be big achievement,
Who was I a slave to?
I myself don't know,
I couldn’t find a way,
Nor a place to go,
I seemed to be free,
I was tied by none.
But yet I was a slave,
To millions, not one,
Now I’m chained,
In this false city of relations,
Everywhere I see,
I just view new expectations,
I try to break free,
But all in vain,
I have everything to lose,
And nothing to gain,
And then I’m bonded,
In this world of materials,
Where I’m the serf,
And cravings are imperials,
But then I’m even trapped,
In my own edge of thought,
I try to break free,
But again I’m caught,
I don't know where to run,
I have no place to hide,
No one cares for me,
Nobody is by my side,
Now everyone is sad,
But I am in glee,
Because six feet under,
I feel I’m free…

Sitting blankly, staring at sky,
In my thoughts, I wonder why,
Why do I need this purposeless run?
Why is every work supposed to be done?
So much of pain, so much of weaning,
Does this lifeless life have a meaning?
Worthless targets and useless goals,
Living corpses with dying souls,
No friend to embrace, no foes to fight,
Nothing is wrong, nor is it right,
No thoughts, no desires, no purpose, no will,
No mind to think, no heart to feel,
Every moment a scar, every moment a death,
Fake smiles on face when eyes are wet,
What is the use of this worthless survival?
No hope is left, no chance of revival,
I want to die just once, not again and again,
Kill me for once, just a one time pain,
Don't ask me the reason, don't ask me why,
Just let me die, just let me die…

-Priyank Shah

By the way, Happy Independence Day, Jai Hind

CHALA GAYA JO MAIN TO AANSOO NA TUM BAHANA,
ARTHI PE AKAR MERI SHRADDHA SUMAN CHADHANA,

LAGTA HO SWACHCHH TUMKO LEKIN KAFAN HAI RAKTIM,
AB DOOR JA RAHA HOON YATRA YEHI HAI ANTIM

HAIN AB BHI PRAN MERE KARGIL KE SARD RAN MEIN
JEEVIT HOON MAIN ABHI BHI , MATRI BHU KE HAR KAN MEIN,

HAI RAN SE DOOR MERA CHHOTA SA EK BASERA
PARIVAAR HAI VAHAN PAR JO TAKTA HAI MARG MERA,

US PARIVAAR MEIN:-
" EK MAA HAI MERI JISNE JANM MUJHKO DIYA HAI
IS MATRI BHU KI KHATIR ARPAN MUJHE KIYA HAI

EK BAAP HAI MERA JISKI AANKHON KA MAIN HU TARA
KARTAVYA BODH DEKAR JISNE RAN MEIN MUJHE UTARA

BEHNO SE AAJ MAINE RAKHI KA HAQ HAI CHHINA
MERE BHAIYON KA GARV SE CHAUDA HUA HAI SINA

KEHTE THE FAUJI MUJHKO SAB YAAR DOST MERE
KAISE KATENGE TUJH BIN MERE SHAAM AUR SAVERE

EK VO BHI HAI JISKE SAPNO MEIN MAIN HU ATA
ARMAAN THA YE USKA KI USKI MAANG MAIN SAJATA

UMMEDEIN SARI UNKI MAIN TODE JA RAHA HOON
BAS YAADO KE SAHARE SAB CHHODE JA RAHA HOON

GARV HAI MUJHE KINTU KI BALIDAAN MAIN HUA HOON
AMRATVA MAINE PAYA BHALE NISHPRAN MAIN HUA HOON

YEH DESH DHARM HAI MERA YEH DESH SWABHIMAAN HAI
TIRANGA JISKA KAFAN BANE KYA AAM WO INSAAN HAI?

TIRANGA JISKA KAFAN BANE KYA AAM WO INSAAN HAI ?

Kam Hai

Aa bhi jaao ke Zindagi kam hai,
Tum nahi ho to har khushi kam hai...

Vaada karke bhi yeh kaun nahi aaya,
Is sheher mein aaj roshni kam hai...

jaane kya ho gaya hai mausam ko,
dhoop zyada hai, chandni kam hai...

Aaina dekhkar yeh khayal aaya,
Tumse naa milne par taazgi kam hai...

Jaane kyun fizao ne rukh badal diya,
Aaj-kal unki dosti kam hai...

Tumhare dar par hum intezaar mein hai,
khuda ke ghar mein aaj bandagi kam hai...

yaad rakhna mujhe "benaam" hi sahi,
Pehchaan ke liye saari Zindagi kam hai...
            
                                              - Priyank "Benaam" Shah